The Opossum Incident

Standard
The Opossum Incident

Dottie- part Jack Russell, part sloth

The cuddly critter before your eyes has a split personality. Typically more of a lounge puppy, sleeping away the hours like she has a chronic case of spaghetti limbs, Dottie transforms into a beast when she discovers other creatures in her territory. I have cried as she has plucked birds from the air and yelled to squirrels to RUN faster. My eyes have witnessed her devour garden snakes, within seconds disappearing down her gullet, soon to be seen again almost intact in her stool. Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! Nothing she has done has been quite as traumatizing as the day of the Opossum Incident.

 

Temporarily missing my visual cortex, I did not notice the deck’s gate was open. Leashing Dottie during a potty trip was necessary since part of the yard’s fence was down. I had been conned by my sneaky pooch. The fur ball had barked me awake & jumped off the bed, which was not on her typical to-do list. Of course I believed she needed to empty her bowel. Negative! Dottie was faking me out because she knew that smelly marsupial was close by. Dashing away with the speed of a thoroughbred racehorse, that 15 pound canine left me momentarily paralyzed. Unable to properly process this unfortunate turn of events, I stood there until my noodle caught up. The sleep-fog dissipated, I ran after her and it began to flippin’ rain.

Immediately running under the epic pile of wood housed on metal bunk bed frames, barking Dottie found her hoped-for prey and my four-legged nightmare. The hissing emitted by that creature turned my stomach and made me feel out of my element and at a scary disadvantage when the motion detector light turned off. I possessed no weapon, no flashlight and had no way of acquiring human assistance. All of a sudden, in the dark, I started wailing like a pathetic little baby. The thought that zoomed in my head with the strongest force was that Dottie was about to acquire rabies or be eaten by that foul opossum. My uncontrolled reaction was greater in pitch than duration.

 

The barking and Dottie’s attempts to clamp her jaws on filthy flesh continued. I found a flimsy branch and tried to keep my dog from her doom as I screamed and cried and cursed for her to stop. Somehow, Dottie closed in, clamped down with Herculean strength and shook the opossum until I thought it had made its way to the Great Beyond. I didn’t want Dottie to kill it, but I was more terrified of attempting a separation and acquiring a one-way ticket to Foaming-At-The-Mouth-Ville. Once it was motionless, I had to physically remove my dog’s jaws from the opossum’s neck! My hands were forced to obligate Dottie to open her mouth and let go because I kinda like having her in my life. I carried her away, repressing my desire to strangle and bathed her instead.

 

Beware of a cute face! Love may lead you to handle filthy things in the night. Don’t say you weren’t warned.

 

P.S. The next day, the opossum was nowhere to be found. Smiley face

Advertisements

Share your thoughts. Leave a reply.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s